Have you ever been in stuck in such an inescapable cold that before you knew it, your fingers or any poorly protected part of your body became frostbitten? If you've experienced this, you know that frostbite doesn't happen suddenly. It happens gradually in phases that blend into one another until inevitably, skin that's been left vulnerable then becomes damaged from the bitter cold. In the first phase, you feel the initial shock of the low temperature. Your body attempts to preserve its own heat by shivering, and raised chill bumps begin appearing all over your skin. If the cold exposure continues, perhaps you'll start to feel a burning pain, then you'll lose sensation altogether. You become numb. With continued cold exposure, in the worst case scenario, your skin and tissue can suffer permanent damage, and you might not even feel the extent of the damage until it's too late and you lose a finger or two.
Complacency occurs in much the same way, even though you might not lose fingers over it. However, worse than losing fingers is losing your love for Jesus. Like frostbite, people slip into complacency gradually. First phase: you feel a strong sense of conviction by Holy Spirit for being disobedient to what the Lord told you, or for not spending time with Him. Then, the longer you stay in disobedience, you start to lose sensation in that area of your soul where you used to connect deeply with Him. You hear Him and see Him less. One by one, His desires become replaced with worldly desires as you consult Him less often. Your discernment becomes less sharp as the moral lines become blurred. You subconsciously start to feel your love for Him growing cold as you slip into numbness and a spiritually dull life, and you know no amount of religious activity can warm you up again.
Remember when you first got saved and you were so in love with the Lord that you felt like your soul was soaring and you wanted to tell everyone about Him that would listen (or even the ones who wouldn't?) So how did we go from soaring in the highest heights to forgetting how to fly, and losing our passion for flying altogether? Let's briefly explore a few reasons that may shed some light on your situation.
Distraction
This is the category that I assume a lot of people may fall under. How many times have we subconsciously said, "Oh just one more episode on Netflix, then I'll spend time with Him," or "Let me check my social media notifications first," before getting sucked into the rabbit hole of videos, comparing your life to a filtered reality of someone else's life, and mindlessly scrolling for hours? Friends and family might even be a distraction. Selfish ambition combined with busy-ness and the fear of silence and solitude. Even church activities. Then, once thoroughly swallowed up by these distractions we've allowed, we start to feel a cold chill whereas before, we once felt the warmth of The Comforter lighting up our hearts, and our secret place with the Lord becomes covered in cobwebs.
Jesus already spoken on this situation, saying "And others are the ones on whom seed was sown among the thorns; these are the ones who have heard the word, but the worries and cares of the world [the distractions of this age with its worldly pleasures], and the deceitfulness [and the false security or glamour] of wealth [or fame], and the passionate desires for all the other things creep in and choke out the word, and it becomes unfruitful" (Mark 4:18-19).
Disappointment
I once had a vision while someone was preaching. In it, my heart was in my hands. It was hard, and as heavy as a stone. I felt the Lord sitting across from me, and I presented it to Him, solemnly asking, "Why doesn't it work anymore? Why does it look like this?" I heard Him say, "Disappointment. Don't let disappointment keep you from coming to Me." I cried so hard. I repented, saying "Lord, I'm so sorry that I let disappointment take root in my heart, and that I kept it from You, the only one who can make it new again!" Thinking I had been thoroughly healed from a devastating situation, the Lord yet again put His finger on an area of my heart that hadn't been addressed that was affecting my relationship with Him. I had become so deeply disappointed about the situation that I found myself not talking to Him as much. Before I had repented, I became more closed off, internalizing the disappointment instead of casting ALL my cares on Him. This led me to becoming cold.
In the same parable, Jesus explains a similar situation: "...these are the ones on whom seed was sown on rocky ground, who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy and they have no real root in themselves, so they endure only for a little while; then, when trouble or persecution comes because of the word, immediately they stumble and fall away" (Mark 4:16-17). Disappointment comes when we believe a lie or a false reality instead of believing Jesus. Some believe that in Christ, we're absolved from troubles of this world. However, Jesus promised the opposite. Then as soon as something happens that's contrary to this belief of a trouble-free world, they turn away in their disappointment, not knowing that they were only disappointed by the lie they believed, and not by Jesus, who keeps all His promises.
Lack of Gratitude & Unbelief
Imagine for a moment that you're an Israelite on your way to the promise land. Under Moses's leadership and with God's help, you and everyone else were able to outrun Pharaoh and the Egyptian army because God split the sea and let you cross before He drowned your enemies. Then, you have clear, step by step direction from the Lord on how to get to the promise land. He also makes sure you're well fed every morning and evening with food from heaven, makes sure you don't pass out from dehydration by giving you water from a rock, and even makes sure your shoes and clothes don't get worn out, despite wearing them for 40 years. However, you find yourself grumbling under your breath that slavery was better and that you should have never left Egypt. Moses is also taking way too long to come down from that mountain, so let's all make a golden calf and worship that instead!
Such is the mindset of those who had forgotten all of His wondrous works. Suddenly, God--the one true God that delivered them from evil and provided for them in abundance--was not enough. Instead, they complained. As teacher/preacher Kris Valloton would say, "If God sits enthroned upon the praises of His people, who do you think sits enthroned upon the our complaining?" This is a valid question considering the kind of fruit that ungratefulness produces in our lives. We can't love if we're too busy being ungrateful. When we forget the kindness of the Lord and everything He has brought us out of, in our hearts we turn back to Egypt. Our hearts become hard, we drift, and we risk perishing in the wilderness if we don't repent and "do the works [we] did at first" (Revelations 2:5).
The Cure
As believers, we have all dealt with some level of complacency because of the factors listed, and many more that weren't listed. However, more important than asking what led us to complacency is asking how we can repent and return to our first love, the Bridegroom Jesus who wants a Bride (the Church) that is fully in love with Him, who echoes the cry of the Spirit, that He would come back to the earth and reign forever (Revelation 22:17).
Passionate, Lovesick Pursuit
The cure is actually quite simple. If you think the cure is "going to church more," "evangelizing more," or "reading the Word more," you would be wrong. These things might help, but these answers are devoid of the One who should be the center of your affections, or else they too can become distractions. Martha is a prime example. She was so busy doing things for Jesus that she missed the simplicity of being with Jesus. Mary knew this. She sat at His feet and hung on every word He said. Of this, Jesus said that Mary "had chosen the better part" (Luke 10:38-42). Mary, though seemingly doing nothing, was actually the most productive person in that room because she lived in fascination of her Lord. She loved much. You may think you're loving Him by doing things for Him, but Jesus's love language is quality time.
Later, Mary of Bethany shows up again, but this time, she gives the most extravagant display of love for Jesus, and with reckless abandon and complete disregard for the opinions of others, she pours a year's worth of wages in the form of alabaster perfume over the head of Jesus . I imagine the disciples gawked at such a foolish display of affection as they exclaimed "What a waste!" However, Jesus corrected the disciples, indicating that He was so deeply touched by this act that wherever the gospel was to be preached, He wanted everyone to remember what she had done that day (Matthew 26:6-13). The disciples thought they were impressing Jesus with their wisdom by making Mary out to be a fool, but Jesus turned the tables on them, and like He does best, He used something perceived as "foolish" to shame the wise in their own eyes, even His own disciples (1 Corinthians 1:27). Little did they know that yet again, Mary, in her love for Jesus, was actually the wiser one, and they, the fools.
Reading this passage long ago, at first, I paused and asked the Lord what He wanted me to gather from this story. I realized that Jesus isn't physically here for me to pour expensive alabaster perfume on, so how do I show Him my affection? I became still and heard Him say, "The most valuable thing you can give Me is your time." We can extravagantly pour our affections on Him by giving Him our very lives, something He paid a very high price to obtain. The veil, Christ's flesh, was torn so that we would be able to do this. The prophets of old longed to see the day where the Messiah would pour out His blood and His Spirit on the world. The least we can do is pour ourselves--with our valuable time--out on Him in return and give Him the reward of His suffering
Just Ask!
I had a dream in high school around the time of my birthday where Jesus showed up. What He did in this dream is something I still think of to this day. I remind myself of it whenever I feel dry or disconnected. Hopefully it will be just as much of an encouragement to you also.
In one part of the dream, Jesus flung me up on His shoulders, and somehow, we flew around, but we flew so fast that I couldn't see anything. Because of the sheer speed, I began sliding off His robe. I began to lose my grip, but at first, I never said anything to Him about it. Soon, it got the point where I was about to let go of Him. I couldn't hold on anymore. In desperation, I cried out "Jesus, help me!" It didn't take anything for Him to grab me and throw me back up to my original place. It made me feel silly for even hesitating when He was so willing and able to help me as soon as I asked. Maybe I thought that He would make me feel bad for not holding on tight enough, or perhaps I felt ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to cling to Him in my own strength. I realize this line of thinking is absolutely contrary to His character, and that He would be more offended if I didn't ask for His help than if I kept quiet and tried to work it out myself. Jesus told His disciples that we ought to ask "that your joy would be full" (John 16:24). If you are feeling complacent and never ask for His help, you're missing an opportunity for Him to make you full of His joy, which in and of itself contains the strength to overcome.
The Reward of Those Who Overcome
Another word for complacency is lukewarmness. In the Greek, lukewarm is chliaros, which according to Strong's Concordance means "tepid," or also "the condition of the soul wretchedly fluctuating between a torpor (lethargy) and a fervor of love." When John of Patmos was with the Lord, the Lord had a message specifically for the Church who was stuck in such complacency. Initially, His words sting with conviction, but He offers a such a beautiful promise to those who overcome. He says:
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm (spiritually useless), and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of My mouth [rejecting you with disgust]. Because you say, “I am rich, and have prospered and grown wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked [without hope and in great need], I counsel you to buy from Me gold that has been heated red hot and refined by fire so that you may become truly rich; and white clothes [representing righteousness] to clothe yourself so that the shame of your nakedness will not be seen; and healing salve to put on your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I [dearly and tenderly] love, I rebuke and discipline [showing them their faults and instructing them]; so be enthusiastic and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will]. Behold, I stand at the door [of the church] and continually knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him (restore him), and he with Me. He who overcomes [the world through believing that Jesus is the Son of God], I will grant to him [the privilege] to sit beside Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down beside My Father on His throne."
(Revelations 3:15-21).
Much can be said on this passage, but instead of interpreting it for you, I want you to really digest everything He is saying here. Let me not get in the way. However, note that a grievous sin has a grievous consequence, but that it also has a wonderful reward on the other side of repentance and restoration. He doesn't cast us aside, but rather strongly urges His Church to realize their great need. They think they're rich, but without His gold, they're poor. They think they're clothed, but without His white robes of righteousness, they're naked. They think they can see, but without using His eye salve, they actually have a twisted perspective that renders them blind. The good news is that Jesus is ready and willing to give you this gold, righteous robes, and eye salve as soon as you ask. He will not withhold it.
To those that repent, He promises a glorious reward: to sit beside Him on His throne. He wants to share His glory with you. Can you imagine getting to sit right next to the Lord of Glory; the Lamb slain before the foundations of the world? We don't deserve it, but it's the Father's good pleasure to share His kingdom with us (Luke 12:32).
Come out of complacency and learn to love Him wildly again. It's impossible to become familiar with the eternal. Holy Spirit--The Helper--is waiting to show you not just how to look like Jesus, but how to love Him like He does. The seraphim surrounding His throne have seen Him for eons, yet after all this time, they still can't stop saying "HOLY!" Heaven has never been bored by that Man on the throne. If we could just get a glimpse of what they see, we would be utterly undone. We might be like John and fall over as a dead man!
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death,
jealousy, is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it... (Song of Solomon 8:6-7).
Linked below are a few of my favorite songs to sing to the Lord during my time with Him.
Enjoy!
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